I’m almost gone.
In my head, a mass of untamed memories are swimming about. They call me to revisit them, to let them live while they still can. I remember:
The five o’clock alarm in the morning accompanied by birds whistling. Panting as I leaped past the hibiscus tree and sprinted up the hill. Becoming so acquainted with the ground that it seemed to forever bear my shoe-prints and partake of my identity.
Playing The Weeknd on full blast in my room. Letting his velvety voice fill my head with dark, brooding lyrics exploring life’s spectrum of love, addiction and pain. Defending his palm-tree hair in front of the haters because I knew that in the wake of that disheveled headpiece was my Canadian saving grace.
Laughter. Giggles escaping my lips every so often in the presence of a trio who can accurately be described as thirsty, awkward, and anxious. Tears of joy streaming down my face as I spent ten minutes of my day watching compilations of seven second videos. Making fun of everyone and each other with my sarcastic sister.
Coming to a new place, inhabited by unfamiliar faces. The twelve year old girl closing herself off, inaccessible to everyone. And yet, those unfamiliar faces made themselves known and welcomed her inside.
A God who saw my value when it seemed like no one else did. A God who loved me despite my deceitful, malicious, unworthy heart.
And for all these, I am THANKFUL.
*And a small slideshow of a few of the things I’m thankful for:
(The Weeknd, dancing in my bedroom, running, The Jimmy Fallon show, and laughter)