A Reflection

2015 was a chaotic year. So many great experiences and terrible moments were crammed into the year. So many new friends were born, while other friendships died. So many smiles were etched onto glowing faces, while at other times, frowns of discord clouded the atmosphere. So many occasions of realization and hope only to find myself lost at the end of it all.

 

The Good: 2015 wasn’t completely terrible- for one thing, I was/am less timid than I have been in the past. I’m happy that I’m not as afraid to keep it real and be occasionally crazy. Also, going to New York and D.C. for the Global Young Leaders Conference (GYLC) in the summer was one of the best things I’ve done in a while. I absolutely loved making new friends from all over the world and having ridiculous adventures with them.

The Bad: From July to the end of the year, I felt vacant and tired- as if everyone had left, removed all traces of life and all the lights had been turned off in what was a dilapidated, ancient building. It was then that I realized that everyday just seemed like a handful of hours in which I would stumble through school, then stumble back home- and I didn’t know what to do to change this.

I have never really known who I am nor do I pretend to.  I am accustomed to simply floating along on a modicum of confidence in the hope that one day, at some glorious moment in time, I will finally understand this enigmatic 15 year old girl. I want that moment to come this year. I want this year to be a year of life- where I can breathe and smile and pray and cry without the shadow of desolation and fatigue hovering above me. 

Simply put, I don’t want to re-invent myself- I want to discover myself. I want to be more spontaneous and fun, I want to stop focusing on what I can’t have, and I want to get away from the mentality that grades signify my worth.

-Angel

4 comments

  1. christianjpark · January 24, 2016

    Hey Angel, I really liked this post. I loved some of the vivid imagery that you gave the reader to enjoy. For example, like when you say, “floating along on a modicum of confidence” or “this enigmatic 15 year old girl.” I feel like good imagery like this helps the reader really try to imagine what you are going through and that makes me engaged overall. One thing that I might suggest improving upon is that I feel the ending is quite abrupt. You talked about re-discovering yourself and then, BOOM, you talk about grades. A better transition might help your conclusion out a little bit. Other than that, I really enjoyed this poem. Well done!

    Like

  2. knockman47 · January 26, 2016

    Great post Angel! I really liked some of the images you created with your words. For example “I felt vacant and tired- as if everyone had left, removed all traces of life and all the lights had been turned off in what was a dilapidated, ancient building.” That painted a beautiful picture in my mind, and it helped to get your point across. One thing that was potentially confusing was how you started your 2nd and 3rd paragraph. You stared the as “the good:” and “the bad:”. Now, that’s okay, but the reader is left wondering where the following paragraphs are classified under. The bad? Or are they under a “category” of their own? Over all, great post. It was a joy to read.

    Like

  3. Karith Magnuson · February 23, 2016

    Powerful (and beautifully written) post, Angel. And one that I think a lot of us can relate to: the struggle for self-discovery, the struggle against desolation and fatigue, the struggle to hold onto hope.

    Thank you for continuing to document your journey in such beautiful words.

    Like

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